Asking old high school teachers to be references

 That was somewhat nerve-wracking. UGH.
The formality of which i was totally not used to. arghhh.
Actually, I sent 3 in total, so hopefully the people won't be too pissed off, health and wellness.
NOW TO WRITE MY OWN PART. ARGH.aRGHA RHGRHGLAHG

Maybe this is like the first time in my life where things aren't going my way and i really don't know how else to react to this. 
maybe. FUCK IT IS.

sad, random, generic updates:

- Jerry, the cute(?) Int. China-man in masters of electrical engineering(?) is actually a good guy. I seriously thought he left me to play with other guys but actually kept his word. 

That and his somewhat cute - young looking - so his cheerful personality brightens my day... (?!) Somewhat, Yes? Yeah, i guess that's how it goes. 
Yeah, his cute and cheerful, so i like him. let's leave it at that. Well, that and the fact he has a nice bod - toned arms. And the fact he actually hand delivers the birds to me when it's my serve. Gosh, I don't do that.. well, not for people more competent then me, since they can catch. 
 

Is it somewhat bad that i relish in the fact that sometimes our fingers touch? Even though I never really look at him directly in the eye. argh. aigoo.

~~

Sorry, uber long break of texting, lookng up pictures of LEE JUN SUK. OH BABY. 

https://www.google.ca/search?q=lee+jun+suk&hl=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=MZ5GUcqfE4iC2gXapIHADA&ved=0CDcQsAQ&biw=1517&bih=714

let my maiden, pure thoughts envelope my mind. Oh derp.

That cupid bow though. And the fact that he manages to look cute - like a puppy - in every single photo. And his smile - that never looks rambunctious, but always shy. ARGH. SO FUCKING ENDEARING.

IS THIS WHAT LOVE IS???!!!??
Well, no cause I feel like this is the same reason I liked Jonathon, so much. That innocent, pure boy kind of thing.
I feel like reading my old diary entries on him or something.

Back when i only wrote, not typed or online blog. Life just expects to do everything fast and efficient, doesn't it.
I don't think my feelings roll this way though. I can't just spill out my feelings in front of a screen.
The fact that I can't use my voice and body to express myself is such a constraint, a pain in a way, I suppose. You could think of it that way...